


(Not All) Sunshine and Rainbows

by cathcer1984



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22669876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathcer1984/pseuds/cathcer1984
Summary: When Stiles was a kid his mom would talk about how she'd met her soulmate, how they were both young and it was love at first sight. They'd experienced a life together, "had a wonderful son" she'd say as she ruffled his hair.Then she died and his dad fell apart.Stiles doesn't want a soulmate that's so much older than him. He's going to be left alone to whither away, hating the world and drinking himself into oblivion like his dad. He's terrified by Peter's age, his life so far and Stiles finds himself feeling incredibly and inexplicably small when he compares himself to Peter.*Soulmate AU where Stiles isn't happy with Peter as his.
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 9
Kudos: 397
Collections: Competent Peter





	(Not All) Sunshine and Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> Just a thought that came to me, what if the soulmate au thing wasn't always sunshine and rainbows?
> 
> Explanation of additional warnings in the end note.

Stiles sits at the bar nursing another whiskey. He glares at the words on his arm. His fucking soulmark, black and stark against his skin the words seeming to stand out even in the dim lighting. 

**Deputy Stilinski our latest team member I look forward to working alongside you**

The words mock him. Soulmarks don't show punctuation just the words and Stiles had never expected it to be said to him with such derisive amusement and sarcasm. He'd never expected to hate his soulmate. 

Stiles groans and flops his head onto the bar. He has a headache, he feels sick and he's so very drunk. He pulls his phone out to call Scott or his dad but he can't, they're not here. Scott's on his honeymoon with his soulmate, Kira, and dad is in Beacon Hills while Stiles is... he can't remember where he is. Some dirty bar in some part of America. 

He'd come for a weekend escape with his soulmate, away from their lives in Beacon Hills and the roles they play there. Stiles came despite his reservations, and they'd had a fight. A huge argument that Stiles has drunk to try and forget. 

*

_"Why are you even here Stiles?"_

_Stiles blinks, taken aback. "Wha-" he swallows, trying to calm his anger. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"_

_Peter, his soulmate, looks tired and drawn. He's sitting in an armchair while Stiles stands by the door. His voice is calm, though, when he speaks. "It's a perfectly valid question, Stiles. Why did you come with me? It's plain as day that you neither want to be here, nor do you want to be mine."_

_"I am your soulmate," Stiles hisses._

_"Yes." Peter fixes his blue eyes to the left of Stiles' face. "You are and I am yours but that doesn't seem to be enough for you. You cannot look beyond by job-"_

_"I'm a cop! You're a defense attorney!" Stiles shouts._

_"-my age, my past." Peter continues as though Stiles hadn't interrupted._

_Angry, Stiles picks up the nearest thing to him and throws it at Peter. The water bottle hits Peter in the shoulder. "Fuck you!" Stiles picks up something else to throw but Peter stands, his face tight and jaw clenched. "You have a fucking daughter and an ex-wife! You put the guilty people I arrest back on the fucking streets to walk free! You're old! And I hate it! I hate you!" Stiles is breathing hard._

_Peter looks stricken. He remains silent as he bends to pick up the water bottle, setting it on the coffee table._

_And Stiles feels all the anger leave him but he's still hurt and confused and horrified at what he's said. Grabbing the keys to the rental car Stiles runs out the cabin they - _Peter_ \- had hired. _

_Peter doesn't call out after him, doesn't follow him. Stiles sits in the car for a few tense heartbeats waiting to see if Peter will come outside, if he'll come after Stiles like he always has done._

_He doesn't and Stiles drives away._

*

He's so drunk now that the room is blurry. A hand lands on his shoulder and Stiles tries to shake it off only to end up falling from the stool and into someone's chest. 

"Come on," his saviour says gruffly, hauling Stiles along with him out the door.

Stiles closes his eyes against the dizziness, leaning more heavily into the body. He's helped into the front seat of the car, and Stiles rests his forehead against the cool glass.  
"Don't-" the voice stops with a sigh, obviously deeming their comment not necessary. The car drives along and Stiles finds himself lulled into sleep, he wakes briefly as he's picked up from the car and carried to a bed. 

A cool glass of water is at his lips, "come on, now. You need to drink this, please." Stiles opens his mouth and swallows the water as it's poured in gently. There's a hand cupping the back of his head, a warm body hold him up. 

Soft hands take off his shoes and undress him down to his t-shirt and boxers. A kiss is pressed against his forehead, words are murmured and Stiles falls asleep taking comfort in the care being provided to him. 

*

_Stiles always knew he was going to be a Deputy. Not just because of the words on his arm but because his dad was his hero and Stiles wanted nothing more than to be just like his dad when he grew up._

_Only his dad fell apart when Stiles' mom died. Stiles saw first hand what losing a soulmate did to a person and he never wanted that to happen to him._

_So when he did meet his soulmate Stiles was terrified._

_He'd always thought that his soulmate would be a Deputy as well. But he isn't. Peter is nothing like Stiles imagined or wanted._

_On Stiles' first official day at work he'd walked into the station as an equal. His uniform fit perfectly and he wore it with pride. The other deputies greeted him and welcomed him like he was coming home. In a way, he was, Stiles had grown up around these people, they looked after him when his mom was sick and after she died. When his dad had no one to look after him Stiles came to the station and they cared for him, occupied him and helped him with his homework._

_"Got to report to the Sheriff, Stilinksi." Deputy Graeme said with a wink._

_"Thanks." He saluted her with two fingers, then sauntered to his dad's office. The door was open so Stiles entered, "reporting for duty, sir!" Stiles grins and then notices the other man in the room with his dad._

_Both of them stand and Stiles stares, the man is older but gorgeous. He's got piercing blue eyes, a soft smirk playing around his mouth and light well kept goatee around his lips and chin. His neck is thick, his shoulders broad but his waist is trim. The three piece suit he's wearing screams of money and power and the man wears it well._

_"Peter, this is our new deputy. Deputy Stilinksi, Peter Hale, defense attorney." Stiles' dad introduces them._

_Immediately Stiles makes sure his face is the picture of polite indifference, he knows his dad's opinion of defense attorneys has heard enough at home. Defense attorneys are a thorn in the sheriff department's side, they help guilty people walk free, they make police fifty times harder than it should be. They are pests._

_"Deputy Stilinski?" Peter's smirk grows and he side eyes Stiles' dad before turning his full gaze onto Stiles again. "Our latest team member. I look forward to working alongside you." There's sarcasm and derision dripping from his tone, amusment in his features, as if this is all a game._

_Stiles' arm heats up as his soulmark solidifies from the grey of not met to the black of having met your soulmate. "Well, fuck. This is a disaster."_

_"Stiles!" His dad reprimands him.  
_

__

__

_But Stiles only has eyes for Peter who is gripping his forearm, smug mask dropped and his face has become softer, hopeful even. He takes half a step forward._

_Stiles takes a step back. "I- uh- fuck," he says before fleeing the office to have a panic attack in the break room._

*

Peter is so much older than Stiles. 

He had an entire lifetime to become jaded and cynical. He's lived and done so much while Stiles was a child. Peter got married, he has a daughter that is Stiles' age. The first girl Stiles dated and had sex with. And her _dad_ is his soulmate.

It's so fucked up. 

Stiles resents Peter for all he's done. For not waiting for Stiles, not waiting to have kids or a wedding or a marriage with him. Peter's done all those things with someone else and Stiles hates that. 

He hates that he grew up excited to meet his soulmate, have dreams about them getting married, having kids and living life together, experiencing all these things with each other. 

Only to be disappointed and heartbroken that Peter's already experienced them. What does Stiles bring to a relationship with a man twenty years his senior? 

When Stiles was a kid his mom would talk about how she'd met her soulmate, how they were both young and it was love at first sight. They'd experienced life together, "had a wonderful son" she'd say as she ruffled his hair. 

Then she died and his dad fell apart. 

Stiles doesn't want a soulmate that's so much older than him. He's going to be left alone to whither away, hating the world and drinking himself into oblivion like his dad. He's terrified by Peter's age, his life so far and Stiles finds himself feeling incredibly and inexplicably small when he compares himself to Peter. 

*

When Stiles wakes up his head is pounding, his mouth is dry and he feels sick. He groans, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as though it'll stop the nauseating sensation.

Suddenly there's a bucket by his face and a hand on his shoulder guiding him to lean over. Stiles throws up, it's disgusting and he hates it but it's his own fault.

"All done?"

"Yeah," he rasps falling back on the bed. He's left alone then a warm damp cloth is wiping over his face and the bed dips. "Why're you doin' this?"

Peter sighs, he wipes the cloth over Stiles' mouth. "I'm not as awful as you seem to think I am."

Stiles closes his eyes. "I know you're not."

"Do you?" Peter asks softly. "Because ever since we met you've fought against me. You hate my job, you hate that I'm _good_ at my job. You hate that I have a daughter and a life outside of you."

"I fucked your daughter, did you know that?" Stiles opens his eyes slightly, Peter is frozen. "Do you get how fucking weird it is for me? I dated and had sex with your daughter and you're my fucking soulmate. You have this entire life before me, without me and I'm just... small."

"Sweetheart," Peter bends over and rests his forehead against Stiles' temple. "You're so important to me. I could show you how good we can be, if you'll let me. Stiles, please."

Shrugging Stiles dislodges Peter from him and he rolls over, turning his back. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Okay." Peter says hoarsely. "I'll let you rest."

Stiles listens as he leaves, closing his eyes against the burn but the tears leak out anyway dampening the pillowcase beneath his face.

*

Waking up for the second time, Stiles feels better physically but emotionally he's still confused. He remembers their fight, telling Peter he fucked Malia and that Stiles feels so insignificant next to him.

He gets up slowly, sees the glass of water and two painkillers on the bedside table. Peter must have left them out. It makes Stiles smile, even though his face feels like it's cracking.

Stiles gets up and makes his way into the living area of the cabin. Peter isn't there. It's nearly midnight, Stiles has slept the day away and Peter has probably gone to bed himself. Moving quietly through to the other bedroom Stiles gently pushes the door open.

The bed is perfectly made and empty. There's no book on the nightstand, no phone charger in the wall and Peter's bags aren't on the floor.

A cold dread grips Stiles and he runs through the cabin, turning the main lights on as he goes. Then, he sees it sitting on the kitchen counter propped up against the fruit bowl. An envelope with his name on it. Peter's writing is distinctive, curled and joined and just as put-together-perfect as the rest of him.

Picking up the envelope in shaking fingers Stiles licks his dry lips then opens it.

_Stiles,_

__

_I apologise for not doing this in person, however; I am quite certain I would not be able to leave were I to face your disappointment._

_If I am truly honest with myself though, I don't believe you would be disappointed and therefore I could not bring myself to see your face, delighted or otherwise, if I told you I was going._

_You seem to be under some disillusions about me, let me address them and please, have enough respect of soulmates to read this through to the end._

_Your first issue with me is my job and the fact that I am good at it. I do not let guilty people walk free. People are found guilty or not guilty by a jury of their peers. My job is to help that jury understand the nuances of the law and yes, sometimes that means guilty people walk free and other times it means innocent people are not punished for a crime they did not commit._

_The second is my daughter, both the fact that I have a daughter and that Malia was your first girlfriend. Addressing the latter first, it's an unfortunate coincidence that Malia holds a place in both our lives. I did not have much to do with her growing up, I didn't know she existed until she came and found me after she turned eighteen. I believe the two of you had already dated and broken up by that point._

_In regards to the sheer fact that I have a daughter I believe I have grounds to defend myself. I was nineteen, didn't have soulmark and almost all of my friends had met theirs. I was lonely and found someone like me. She didn't have a soulmark either and we decided to have a hedonistic, sexual relationship for the few summer months that she was in town. I was unaware it ended up in a pregnancy and a daughter until eighteen years later, as I've said before. I also am of the opinion that for you to take the moral high ground and begrudging me for having sex before finding my soulmate is hypocritical when you've had your own sexual relationships. Unlike me, you had a soulmark at the time._

_As for my wife, my ex-wife, she and I were old by soulmate standards, thirty-five and still alone. Desperation and loneliness are not good combinations for people to have in a society that dictates a guaranteed happy ever after, of course we both know that isn't always the case. She found her soulmate after two years of married life. neither of us were happy, but we were content enough. The desire for companionship can allow an individual to overlook certain miseries in their own life. We divorced amicably, and are still friends._

_There is of course your concern regarding my age, or perhaps more specifically the age difference between us. I won't lie and say it hasn't affected me. I am twice your age, you are half of mine for now. But as we grow there will twenty years between us at forty and sixty it won't seem so chasmous. Then again, when you get to my age perhaps you won't want to be with an old man like me._

_The last, and quite possibly the most serious, concern you have is the one of your own importance, particularly your importance to me and your place in my life. From the outside, I can see how it looks. I have filled my life with the activities that soulmates do together. I met my soulmate, got married, had a child, only I did it out of order and with three different people. From the first day I met you, when you said the words that have been branded on my arm since I was twenty. Words that aren't exactly positive, I had often wondered how they would be spoken to me and why. Then you said them and I was so filled with hope then you ran away._

_And you have kept running from ever since. I cannot do this anymore Stiles. I can't try and give you all of me only to be pushed away and blocked and rejected at every turn. You don't wish to be my soulmate, you think you are insignificant to me, that the life you have lived so far is inconsequential next to mine. Stiles, my life has been filled with loneliness and waiting._

_As a child I was many years younger than my sister. I was an embarrassment to her. My father often beat me, my mother ignored and neglected me and I never understood why until I was twelve. I overheard my parents arguing, I was the product of an affair my mother had with the next door neighbour and both of them hated me for it._

_As I understand it you have some reticence towards the concept of soulmates because of how your father dealt with the death of his soulmate, your mother. I'm sure you're getting angry at the mere presumption that I know this despite us never talking about it. Your dad told me some of your opinions about soulmates after you ran out on me when we first met._

_I have nothing left to say in my defence. I only wish to express my regret that we never got a chance. I apologise for leaving as I have, however; I cannot stay in an environment where I am so clearly disliked. I do not hold this against you, Stiles._

_You are my soulmate and I want nothing but the absolute best for you. I wish you abundant happiness in your life. And if, in some time, you wish to know me as your soulmate or even as a friend I will be waiting. That is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to wait for you and you don't think I have done._

_Not all waiting is done alone._

_I waited forty years for you, my darling and I will wait forty more._

_All the best and all my love.  
Peter_

Stiles sits back against the kitchen cupboard, having slumped down while reading the letter, and all he can think is 'my soulmate has left me'. Then his rational brain kicks in and Stiles knows that Peter hasn't left Stiles, not really because Peter never had enough of Stiles to be able to reject him. 

His head pounds from the hangover and heartache. Stiles doesn't know what to do. He feels ridiculous, he shouldn't be so upset over a man he's barely given the time of day to. But despite all of Stiles' reluctance and hostility Peter had never been anything other than charming, kind and considerate. He had treated Stiles like an equal, someone capable of keeping up with Peter's conversations and intelligence. And Stiles had dismissed him constantly, rebuffed any attempt at friendship and cowered from any intimacy. 

Wiping away stray tears Stiles looks around the empty cabin helplessly. His phone is sitting on the table, he picks himself up off the floor and stumbles to the armchair Peter had been sat in yesterday during their fight. 

They had gone for a walk, Peter attempting conversation about themselves, Stiles' job, the woods around them before lapsing into silence at Stiles' snappish remarks. 

Closing his eyes, Stiles takes a moment to count his breaths then he reaches for his phone. He tries Peter first but there's no answer, it just rings through to voicemail. 

Stiles isn't surprised. He doesn't leave a message, just hangs up. It's too late to ring his dad and Peter's taken the rental so Stiles heads to the bedroom, tries to ignore the ugly thoughts in his head. He's going to sleep and figure out his next move in the morning. 

*

"Stiles?"

"Hey dad." 

"What's wrong son? Aren't you spending the weekend with Peter?" Dad sounds cautious. 

Closing his eyes Stiles whispers "I fucked up so bad, dad I don't know how to fix it."

"Do you want to?" Dad asks hesitantly. 

Stiles flinches. "I want to try but I'm so scared."

"Of Peter?" 

"No, yes, no. Not of Peter but, you know."

His dad sighs. "You're scared that he's your soulmate." 

"Yeah, and he's so much older and I don't want to end up like-" Stiles bites his lip.

"Like me? Kiddo, your mom was one of the best things that happened to me. But so are you. I know I didn't deal well with her death, I wasn't a good dad but you're not me. You're so much stronger than I am, than I was. You deserve the chance to be happy and if the universe thinks Peter is the one, who are you to argue?"

"I just, I don't know..." Stiles scrubs a hand through his hair. "Can you come pick me up?"

"Where's Peter?"

"He left." Stiles admits, voice breaking. "Because I was a fucking asshole." 

"Alright, son, it'll be alright. I'll head on out now, it'll take me a couple of hours to get there." 

Stiles lets out a relieved breath. "You know where I am?" 

There's a pause. "Peter told me where he was taking you. He asked if it was a good idea or not, I thought it might do you well to see him outside of work and Beacon Hills."

"You're talking about me? With Peter?" 

"Don't take that tone with me, son. He's your soulmate. If he comes to me with a question about you then I'll sure as hell answer him. I want to see you happy, Stiles." 

Feeling ashamed Stiles nods even though his dad can't see him. "Sorry. I just... Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you in a couple of hours." 

*

Four hours later Stiles and his dad are pulling into Beacon Hills. "Where do you want to go, son?" 

"Can you take me to Peter's?" 

His dad nods and Stiles stares out the window. Soon, too soon, the car is pulling up and parking in front of Peter's house. "Thanks dad," Stiles says, "I'll call you later okay?" 

"Sure. If you need picking up just let me know. Love you, kid." 

"Love you too." Stiles smiles at his dad and gets out the car. The walk up to Peter's front door seems long and daunting. Still, Stiles goes and he knocks firmly. 

It takes a few moments but the door opens, Peter seems surprised to see him. 

"Can I come in?" Stiles asks, "please." 

Peter stands aside and closes the door behind Stiles. Turning around Stiles looks at Peter, really looks at him. He looks tired, worn down and heartbroken. It's all because of Stiles. 

"Do you want to sit down or are we having this out here?" Peter raises his eyebrows. 

"I'm not here to fight with you, Peter."

"Well that's a change." Peter snarks. And Stiles looks at the ground because he deserves every petty, passive aggressive comment Peter will throw his way. "What are you here for then?" 

"I got your letter." Stiles makes sure to catch Peter's gaze. "I want to apologise. I was afraid of being someone's soulmate, of having one. I took it out on you and I'm sorry." 

Peter nods. "Accepted. Anything else?" 

Stiles' shoulders slump, he'd been wanting more from Peter. He'd been expecting open arms and forgiveness. "I've really fucked things up, haven't I?" 

"Yes." Peter seems surprised with himself whether for his answer or for how quickly it came out Stiles can't tell. 

"Irreparably?" 

"What?" 

Stiles takes a step towards Peter, "have I fucked things up so badly that they're irreparable?" 

"I.. am not sure." 

"I have a lot of negative opinions about soulmates" Stiles comes closer to Peter. "I put all of them on you and that wasn't fair. I don't hate you, I am terrified of the age difference and that you have had a life without me." 

"No," Peter says, eyes softening at the corners. "I haven't." 

"I think I'm starting to understand that. I haven't been fair to you and I want to try and get to know you." Stiles holds his hand out, he'd expected Peter to shake it but he doesn't. Peter takes Stiles' hand in his and links their fingers together. 

"Would you like a coffee?"

"Yeah." As they head to the kitchen, Peter in the lead, Stiles tugs on their hands, "I'd like to try something." 

Peter faces him warily. "Alright."

With a soft smile Stiles leans in, giving Peter plenty of time to pull away before their lips meet. Peter sighs against Stiles' lips, kissing him gently. It's not a shy kiss but it isn't ferocious either. It's like coming home, it's deep and wet and perfect even though their noses bump and their teeth knock together. 

Stiles chuckles into Peter's mouth. Peter beams at him in return, pressing another kiss to Stiles' lips, his hands coming up to hold Stiles close. 

Kissing back Stiles embraces Peter tightly. They break the kiss and Stiles hugs Peter. "You don't drink coffee." 

"No," Peter pulls back from the hug with a smirk, "I don't." 

Stiles knows he's passed a test. He did pick up some pieces of information about Peter, hoarded them close like a dragon and pretended not have anything at all. 

As they enter the kitchen Stiles watches Peter, it's not going to be easy or a fairytale, they have a lot to work though but the universe chose this man for Stiles and he's finally giving Peter and himself enough of a chance to find out why.

**Author's Note:**

> Peter mentions how his sister hated him, his mother neglected him and his father physically beat him. 
> 
> Mentions of the sheriff's neglect after Claudia's death. 
> 
> I'm on Tumblr.


End file.
